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  • Writer's pictureshazia nizam

Kindness and compassion

What is inextricably true about keeping your heart soft and open is that you are continually filled with kindness and compassion.

It’s not always easy, believe me. I have my own moment of brokenness where I cannot get past my own thought created feelings in the moment, of hurt or rejection or misunderstanding.

The problem comes when one sets up tent and camps in those thoughts. We know that eventually we will pack up and move on at some point but we have still made that conscious decision to set down and wallow in these thoughts of injustice

How could they have said this or done the other. Why can’t they see my point of view and I am right.

So here is the thing. Does it really matter? If we want to move on then we have to let go. And by letting go That means also letting go of all of those thoughts and feelings related to that situation, argument or narrative.

And that is what life is right. A set of narratives. Let’s think about who is the author of those narratives. It’s you. Its me. We are all the creators of our own thought created reality. So whatever any one else says to you or what anyone else does to you only becomes harmful when we create feelings around it in the moment .

Look I’m not saying one ought to become a robot and have no feelings about anything or That we can programme ourselves to have only happy thoughts. We are human and multilayered with a whole host of experiences and feelings about those experiences.

However, what we can do is understand that once that moment has passed it is no longer our current reality. We can immediately create a new reality with a new thought. We can admit we have a different perception than the next person and be ok with that. Live and let live. Agree to disagree. We can have compassion for others. We can show kindness to those who don’t show us the same.

Why, you say? However righteous one may feel about saying how we feel, fighting back, releasing our anger upon a person or situation, in the end the feeling dissipates. And then what are you left with. You are left feeling bad. It’s not a good feeling. Your body vibrates with negative impulses and thoughts, with angry conversations and your face contorts and your heart races and we inadvertently repel everyone around us.

I mean who enjoys being around an angry, closed and negative person. I’ll tell you who. Nobody. Who likes to be around a joyous open and loving person. Not you? Really? Does it really annoy you? Then go ahead, and be around another equally negative person.

After a certain point you will be repelled by it and in fact as a mirror to oneself you will be repelled by your own anger words and behaviour.

Come in to the kind and happy fold and stay. There is room for everyone.

I am a three principles Life Coach and Diversity consultant, Trainer and Speaker.

Contact for any enquiries

First published in in April 2018

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